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Redford Aldersgate
United Methodist Church
Sermon
Correct Me If I'm Wrong
Proverbs 12:1
Correct me if
I’m wrong, ....but I haven’t preached for a long time - right? I think
it was way back in the springtime at the end of April when I preached on
Thomas, the Close Encounters of the Risen Kind, Jesus resurrection
appearance to the disciple Thomas. So when Diana asked if I would do a
sermon or two this summer, I thought I’d better say yes. She works so
hard at ministry, especially sermons, she deserves a break. So here I am
in July after a busy week for her at License to Preach School and then
I’m on later in August after she is gone for a week to Chicago for a
National Clergywomen’s Conference.
Really, I don’t mind not preaching for a long time. It’s fun to listen
to Diana preach. I enjoy Diana’s preaching so I would rather sit and
take it in. That is one of the blessings of retirement - I can sit back
like you and listen to a great preacher!
It has been enjoyable to listen to Diana preach this summer series of
sermons on Proverbs, the Old Testament book that is a collection of wise
sayings. She has reminded us that they are like bright little candles
which shed light into our lives. She has focused that light on God’s
wisdom about such things as pride, and anger, and honesty.
Today our focus is on learning to accept correction, and especially how
we deal with criticism. When Diana asked if I would do a sermon on this
focus, she said, “You’re much less defensive and more able to deal with
criticism than I am.. Would you give us the benefit of your wisdom?” How
could you say no to a request like that? I did wonder for a moment
whether it was really that I could deal better with criticism or that
she didn’t make as many mistakes as I did to be criticized about?
The book of Proverbs really challenges us on learning to accept
correction. I read the scripture from Proverbs 12:1 Our pew Bibles said,
“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but those who hate to be
rebuked are stupid.” The Good News Bible translation hits it just as
hard. “Anyone who loves knowledge wants to be told when he is wrong. It
is stupid to hate being corrected.” Most of us hate being called stupid
as well as hate being corrected! Even though we at times use the phrase,
“Correct me if I’m wrong ...”, we don’t particularly like being
corrected. Actually, we usually only say, “Correct me if I’m wrong” when
we are pretty sure we are right and people won’t correct us. Isn’t that
right? ... Correct me if I’m wrong! Criticism is not easy to accept
especially if it is calling us stupid.
Someone once said that correction and being criticized are about as much
fun as going to the dentist. I’m sure that they didn’t have Sam Prisk as
their dentist. He makes it fun. Right, Sam? The reason we usually hate
being corrected is pride. We want to be the authority in our life and we
resent anyone else stepping in. Even when someone tries to discipline
us, we are ready to respond with, “You’re not the boss of me.”
But we all at times need some discipline or correction and are better
for it when we take it to heart. Ignoring correction is foolish. Many of
the proverbs remind us of that. Proverbs 10:17 says, “The one who
rejects correction goes astray.” And Proverbs 15:32 adds, “Anyone who
ignores instruction despises himself, but whoever listens to correction
acquires good sense.” We all make mistakes. There are three kinds of
people in the world: those who have made mistakes, those who are making
a mistake right now, and those who will soon make a mistake.” Accepting
discipline and correction is a part of being humble. People who are too
proud to learn from mistakes and advice do not grow. Since we are not
immune to mistakes, we should not be immune to being corrected.
Most of us know that discipline is good for us. It is important to
receive discipline and correction, especially from parents. The most
important place for discipline and correction to occur is within the
home. Diana reminded us of that on Father’s Day when she focused on
Proverbs that said, “Train children in the right way, and when old, they
will not stray.” It is not always easy to take correction from parents,
but discipline is important.
Learning to take correction and being disciplined can make us better
people. At the License to Preach School this past week this came home to
me in a vivid way as one of the students told a story about himself.
After graduating from high school, he was ready to do nothing but loaf
and soak up the sun that summer. However, his dad got him a job with a
local farming business that produced quality fruits and vegetables. When
he went to the job, he was told he would make $1.65 an hour - not much -
but he was also told he would get commission for the good vegetables and
fruit he picked. Being young and hearty, he thought that’s great. He
started off planting and seeding with vigor. And he weeded with vigor.
But when he thought it was about time to begin harvesting, the
supervisor had them prune the vegetables and fruits for a while. He was
to pull off the little “suckers” so better vegetables would grow. And
then he was to pull off the puny fruit so better fruit could grow. He
was really dismayed. As he pulled off the puny fruit and threw them on
the ground, he looked down and thought, “ There goes my commission,
laying on the ground.” But then when the harvesting time came, what a
difference the discipline of pruning had made. Prime vegetables and
fruit were able to be picked because of that pruning. He had learned a
great lesson.
Proverbs helps us to know that great lesson as well. God can use
correction and discipline to improve the character of our lives too. We
don’t always want to take correction or hear criticism at times, but it
can make us better people. Maybe we would rather hear praise and nice
things said about us but if we only heard that, would it help us to
grow? Norman Vincent Peale is quoted as saying that the trouble with
most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by
criticism.
Why do we want to be told when we are wrong? So that God can keep
working in us and on us to make us “good fruit”, to make us “prime
produce.” Learning to accept correction and criticism is a sign of
maturity in the life of a Christian. God uses many forms of correction
to get our attention. Being corrected is not fun, but it is a vital part
of our spiritual growth. We need to learn to say, “Correct me if I’m
wrong...please God... so that I can be more pleasing to you.
Right about now some of you may be saying, “I don’t mind being corrected
by God and I don’t even mind being corrected be others - when they do it
nicely. But isn’t there some criticism that is nasty and mean? Some may
even define the difference between correction and criticism as
correction being done nicely and criticism being done in a nasty way.
There are those who do know how to give correction so that it comes
across as helpful suggestions and most of us would rather receive
suggestions than we would criticisms. But we can’t always determine how
our lessons in life are going to come. So if we are going to take the
scripture seriously, we need to grow in wanting to be told when we are
wrong. We need to learn how to take criticism non-defensively.
So here are my practical “suggestions” on how to take criticism
non-defensively.
1. Learn to let some criticism roll off your back. That is to say that
there is some criticism that we ought to ignore. Some comments are nasty
and say more about the person giving the criticism than the person being
criticized. There’s the story of the conscientious wife who tried very
hard to please her ultracritical husbsnd, but failed regularly. He
always seemed the most cantankerous at breakfast. If the eggs were
scrambled, he wanted them poached; if they were poached, he wanted them
scrambled. One morning, she thought she had a great idea. It was a
stroke of genius ... she poached one egg and scrambled the other and
placed the plate before her husband. Anxiously she awaited what surely
would be his unqualified approval. He peered down at the plate and
snorted, “Can’t you do anything right, woman? You’ve scrambled the wrong
one!” Sometime, some people just can’t be pleased. It’s their problem,
not yours. So, you just need to let some criticism go and get on with
life.
2. But, by the same token, some criticism you take seriously. If it is
someone that you respect or that you know wants the best for you, listen
carefully and think about it. It may be God’s way of working with them
as God’s messenger. Or if several people say it, think about it and take
it to heart. There is an Arabian proverb that says if one person calls
you a donkey ... (actually, that’s not the exact word used in the
Arabian proverb ... but I’ll let you put in another word that means
donkey) Anyway, if one person calls you a ... donkey, pay no attention
to him. But if five people call you one, go out and buy yourself a
saddle!
Actually, a good thing to do is to make a list of what people most often
criticize you about. Then look over the list to see if there is some
truth in what they are saying. As you look at the list, then go on to
the third thing to do.
3. Pray about it. Not because it is a nice religious thing to do. It
helps you to take a step back, really review what is said, and see if
God wants you to learn from it. Some of the most important lessons I’ve
learned, I’ve learned from someone I thought was an enemy or a strong
critic. Early in my ministry, I was in a training seminar and a couple
people criticized me for not having more inflection in my voice. They
kept picking at me and calling me a monotone and one of them said, “For
God’s sake, listen to J.P. McCarthy on WJR and work at imitating him!” I
didn’t like the criticism but I prayed about it and learned from it.
When you take a step back and pray about it -What is God’s will
concerning the correction? - it makes a difference.
4. Work at changing yourself as God leads you. Kathryn Kuhlman was a
well known Christian writer a number of years ago. She even became so
popular that she went on national TV with a weekly program. Shortly
after she went on TV, she received a letter from a public school
official in a little town in Texas. “I love you and love your program,”
he wrote. “It would have been much better, however, if you didn’t have
to spend so much time tugging at your skirt trying to pull it down over
your knees. It was really distracting. Why don’t you wear a long dress
instead?” Kathryn read the letter and was hurt by the criticism. TV
people told her to forget it. But she prayed about it and decided the
public school official was right. A lesser person would have responded
in anger or passed it off as just another senseless remark. But she let
it help her toward her goal of communicating a message. She wore a long
dress from then on for her program and felt God helped her be a better
person. If God wants you to make the correction, work at it.
5. Put the rest in God’s hands. If we’re doing what God wants and
growing closer to God, then that’s all that matters. We don’t have to
worry about what other people say. We just let the results be in God’s
hands.
What life advice have you ignored? What criticism have you let upset you
or hurt you? Is there anything God would have you learn from it? Correct
me if I’m wrong...Please God...Correct me if I’m wrong
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