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Redford Aldersgate
United Methodist Church
Sermon
 If
I said, “How many of you know that you are going to live forever?”... I
hope you would all raise your hands. When I say, “Christ is risen!” Your
response is: Christ is risen, indeed! That is a wonderful truth that we
proclaim every Easter and Eastertide. Christ is risen... Christ is risen
indeed ... Death is defeated ... We will live eternally! It is a
marvelous truth. One that frees us from fear.
 Also,
if I asked, “How many of you know that you are dying?” .... I would hope
you would all raise your hands as well. For while we know that we will
live eternally, we know that this mortal flesh will pass away. We all
have a 100% chance of dying. And today we are one day closer to that day
than we were yesterday. In one way it seems like a contradiction. How
many of you know that you will live forever ... and How many of you know
that you are dying?
 It’s
a resounding “Yes” to both questions. And being able to say yes to both
questions gives us a freedom to live life to the fullest. These Sundays
after Easter Sunday, we are taking part in a 30 day experiment to
discover what matters most in life by imagining what it would be like to
be told we only had 30 days more to live.
 This
experiment, designed by the Smalley Relationship Institute was
 inspired
by the song: Live Like You Were Dying, recorded by Tim McGraw. Let’s
listen to part of the song again
 ...
after the guy who is in his early forties is told he is dying, he is
asked what he would do if this is really the end. He replies with these
words. You can sing along if you want.
(Music)
    
 
 
 
 
 
I’m not really recommending that you go out and go skydiving or even
Rocky Mountain climbing. And I think most of you should stay away from
bulls named Fumanchu ... but I definitely think you need to speak
sweeter, love deeper and give the forgiveness you’ve been denying. I
want you all to be the husband or wife and friend that is the best kind
of husband, wife or friend you can be. Those are all goals that fit in
to God’s purpose for your
life.
So these 30 days are a
time to push the pause button on the treadmill of life and take time to
ask some significant questions.
 Questions
like ... Are my priorities in line with God’s priorities? Am I doing the
things that I say I value the most? Am I focused on that which is
temporal or that which is eternal? After all, this is the only life we
are given. We need to make the most out of it.
Last week, I gave you an assignment. I asked you to have a “No Regrets
Week.” How did you do? Can you look at the person next to you in the pew
and say, “I have no regrets about the way I spent this last week”? It’s
hard isn’t it? I didn’t quite do everything I wanted to do. I didn’t get
it all done. I didn’t always respond to people the way I wanted to
respond. That would seem like a perfect week... like I had reached
perfection. I was talking to a
friend about this. She said, “I’ve been thinking about that a lot this
week. I haven’t done everything perfectly... but I decided not to regret
it. So, I’m having a ‘No Regrets Week.’” I liked that. We can’t do
everything perfectly, but we can decide not to regret our imperfections.
I have a little post-it note beside my computer which says: Being happy
doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to see
beyond the imperfections! It means that we’ve decided not to get upset
about things that don’t really have eternal significance. We see beyond
the imperfections to God’s perfect love that makes good things happen,
even from our shortcomings.
Like this week, we worked on getting out the Announcer. That is always a
stressful week for Lynn and me. In addition to everything else we do, we
have a newsletter to put together... and, of course, I like to have
things just so so... but this week, I’ve tried just not to regret that
it didn’t get out earlier. We did what we could, when we could ... and
in the grand scheme of things ... it will be just fine that it goes out
coming week instead of this past week. If I only had 30 days to live, I
wouldn’t get all angry and stressed about the Announcer. So that’s my
story of my imperfect “No Regrets Week.” You can all share your stories
in your small groups. Did it help you to be less uptight about things? I
hope so.
Today, we are moving on to the part of the song that says he would
“speak sweeter.” The way we speak is very important. I have pictures
here of a husband and wife and a parent and child. That's because
I think most of us, most of the time, speak fairly sweetly to people
outside our family. We are usually polite. But to our
family, it is often times another story. Am I right?
Well, let's do what our song says to do. Let's look at the "Good
Book and take a long hard look..."
Our scripture for today is from the Book of Proverbs. In chapter 18, the
21st verse says: Death and life are in the power of the tongue. The
tongue is a very powerful thing. Wow! The power of death and
life ... that's a pretty powerful thing!
 The
old saying that I was taught as a child was: Sticks and stones may break
my bones, but ... I bet you can finish it, can't you ...
 dirty
words can never hurt me. Is that true? No! Most of the
things my mother taught me were true, but not this. I know when my
mother taught that to me, she was trying to get me to not get my
feelings hurt so easily. If people called me a name, I needed to rise
above it. But the truth is, words have the power to really hurt. Like
this video suggests.
(Video “One
Word.” The following screens are just a few clips of the video
which showed flashes of many pictures)
 
 
One word... especially if that one word is said over and over by someone
you respect, has the power to truly destroy a person’s self confidence.
Or maybe it’s a sentence or two ... but words can change the course of a
life.
In an article about the power of words, it used an example of an altar
boy who was helping a priest in a small country church. The altar boy
accidently dropped the cruet of wine. The village priest struck the
altar boy sharply on the cheek and in a gruff voice shouted, “Leave the
altar and don’t come back!”
 That
boy became Tito, the Communist dictator.
In the cathedral of a large city an altar boy serving the bishop at
Sunday Mass accidently dropped the cruet of wine. With a warm twinkle in
his eyes the bishop gently whispered, “Someday you will be a priest.”
That boy grew up to become Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. I remember
watching his TV show when I was a child. He was so wise, I thought.
 Both
of those men remembered the incident with the priest when they were boys
and saw that incident as a turning point in their lives. We never know
what effect our words will have on others. The words of one priest had
the power of death – death of faith... the words of the other priest had
the power of live – life of a growing faith. The tongue is a powerful
organ that can build up or destroy.
The verse that is right before verse 21 about death and life being in
the power of the tongue is very interesting. It says: From the fruit of
the mouth one’s stomach is satisfied; the yield of the lips brings
satisfaction.
 I
take that to mean that our words come back to feed us. They either help
us to feel satisfied and full, or they can give us indigestion.
 We
know the phrase: I had to eat my words. If we have said nasty things,
then it is not very pleasant to “eat our words.”
 But
if we have said kind things, then they are sweet and nourishing not only
to the person we said them to, but to us as well.
 As
I was looking up studies on the power of words, I came across an
interesting study done by psychologists Cliff Notarius of Catholic
University and Howard Markman of the University of Denver .
 They
studied many couples from the time they were newlyweds. Some, of course,
got divorced, others stayed married. They looked at many, many factors.
It seemed that at the beginning, it was very hard to tell which ones
were going to make it and which ones weren’t. It didn’t seem to matter
how much they were “in love,” or how affectionate they were or how much
they fought with each other. The only significant thing seemed to be how
they talked to one another. Among couples who would ultimately stay
together, out of every 100 comments made about each other, 5 or less
were putdowns. Among couples who would later split, 10 or more of every
100 comments were insults. (Twice as many.) That gap magnified over the
following decade, until couples heading downhill were flinging five
times as many cruel and invalidating comments at each other as happy
couples.
 The
researchers concluded, "Hostile putdowns act as cancerous cells that, if
unchecked, erode the relationship over time. In the end, relentless
unremitting negativity takes control and the couple can't get through a
week without major blowups." (U.S. News & World Report, February 21,
1994, Page 67)
I know we all probably know of couples who have been married a long time
and who regularly put each other down. They somehow have just learned to
look beyond the putdowns to the love behind it. However, for most
people, put downs and negativity breed more and more put downs with a
greater and greater degree of hurt associated with it. So, it’s just
better to avoid the put downs and concentrate on the positive.
 Our
memory verse on the bulletin cover is: So encourage each other and build
each other up, just as you are already doing. 1 Thess 5:11. Building up
and encouraging is a much better way of showing love. If we only had 30
days left to live would we want the people we love and care about to
remember our last words as put downs, or would we want to have them
remember an encouraging word that we said to them.
I came across an interesting “blog” that was meant
 particularly
for men. It was called Project405.org. It had a video which I
downloaded, but couldn’t get to play on power point. But here are
some frames of from the video.
 The
first scene was a little boy telling his dad about a fish he caught that
was this... big.
 As
he said this, he motioned with his hands and knocked over a glass. This
brought on a tirade from the father about not putting your glass so
close to the edge of the table. “How many times do I have to go over
this with you?” he said with obvious scorn in his voice.
 Then
it went to another kid and his dad. The same thing happened as the kid
was telling about a ball that he was about to catch. The dad, just
quickly picked up the glass and asked, “Did you catch it?”
 When
the kid replied, “Yes,” the dad gave him a high five.
 Then
it went to a conversation between a dad and his daughter who obviously
had just had an accident with their new car. The dad was upset about
insurance rates going up and couldn’t believe that the daughter hadn’t
looked in the review mirror. The next scene was the same scenario, only
this time the dad quickly asked, “Are you O.K.? Are the people in the
other car O.K.? Where are you? I’ll be right there.” We know ... we’ve
all been there and done that. Sometimes we say understanding kind
things. But too often we have let ourselves get caught up in being
critical and judgmental. But is that how we want to be? It is not too
late to change. But let’s not wait too long to start making the changes.
 I
read about The Duke of Wellington who was an important British military
leader who defeated Napoleon at Waterloo. He was not an easy man to
serve under. He was brilliant, demanding, but not one to shower his
subordinates with compliments. Yet even Wellington realized that his
methods left something to be desired. In his old age a young lady asked
him what, if anything, he would do differently if he had his life to
live over again. Wellington thought for a moment, then replied. "I'd
give more praise," he said. (Bits & Pieces, March 31, 1994, p. 24.) The
Duke of Wellington didn’t have his life to live over again ... and
neither do we. Today is a new day. It is the day the Lord has made. It
is the day God has given us to help build up someone. It is the day the
Lord has given us so that we can encourage others. Our words have the
power of life or the power of death ... which will it be?
Mother Teresa once said, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but
their echoes are truly endless.” It's true. You say
something kind to someone, it makes them feel better, so they say
something kind to someone else ... who in turn feels better, so they say
something nice to someone else ... and so on and so forth. The
echoes are truly endless.
 In
your bulletin, there was a note card with the words: Just a note to say
... I’d like you to think of someone that you would like to say some
encouraging words to. Maybe it is to say thank you for something... or
to tell them how much you appreciate an important quality about them ...
or simply to say those most important words, “I love you.” Who could you
encourage? Who could you bless? A note of encouragement can be
just the thing that someone needs to get them through the day. There are
people hurting all around us. Will we take the time to notice? I know
it’s hard to find time to write notes, so I gave you this note card in
the bulletin.. During communion, there is time you each wait in your pew
while others are coming forward and receiving the elements. Let’s use
that time to pray for someone and write them a note of encouragement.
It’s one of the things I think we’d do if we only had a few more days to
live. And you know, we have one less hour than we did an hour ago.
I came across a neat term. It’s something I’d love to be known as: A
Blessing Dispenser. Isn’t that neat? Wouldn’t you like people to think
of you as a Blessing Dispenser? Be a person who goes around dispensing
blessings... helping everyone
 you
meet to feel blessed. That would be a great thing to do if you only had
30 days more to live. So let’s get busy dispensing blessings... let’s
start speaking sweeter. Remember, they come back to satisfy us or give
us indigestion. Our words have power.
Let’s use that power
to bring joy to others as well as ourselves as we SPEAK SWEETER!
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